so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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