i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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