Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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