he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
