No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
