I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
