Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
