The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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