Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you never un-have a 4some
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
