How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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