everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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