If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
