Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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