Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
