Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
