ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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