You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
