i don't plan on having that self control this summer
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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