I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
