THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
