So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
