im about as happy as oj after his trial
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
so much tequila, so little girl.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
