Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
