How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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