At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
