u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Less talking, more tequila
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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