My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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