he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
