I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
