Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
