are you still at the devil's house?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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