Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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