I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
