Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
