I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
