You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
