when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
