i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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