I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
