I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
