So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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