I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
