before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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