no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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