i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
