Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
