I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
