Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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