You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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