I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
