You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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